


Vows Spoken in the Light

by msraven



Series: Covenant [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:05:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msraven/pseuds/msraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The path to their second chance is rockier than either of them counted on. </p><p>A small coda to Promises Made in the Dark.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vows Spoken in the Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gwynhefar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwynhefar/gifts).



> A coda to the first fic in this series (you should read that first), originally posted on [my tumblr](http://msraven929.tumblr.com) and x-posted here per request. 
> 
> For Gwyn, who wanted a happier ending.

"Did I kiss you or did you kiss me?"

Clint leans back and raises an eyebrow. "Uh… I think that was all pretty mutual just then."

"No, I meant the first time. Which one of us initiated the kiss? Where was it?"

"No."

"No? What? It was mutual the first time too?"

"No, as in, I’m not telling you." Clint scrambles off Phil’s lap and sits on the far end of the sofa. "I’m not doing this, Phil. I thought you said this was about us trying again. Not us trying to get back what we had."

"It’s not…" Phil slides closer to Clint and drops his forehead onto his shoulder with a sigh. "I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s frustrating that I’ve gotten everything back, but not you."

"I can’t do this. It hurts, Phil. I know you don’t remember, but I just can’t."

"I know, I’m sorry. I promise I won’t ask again."

~^~

Clint flops onto his back with a sated grin, but the afterglow of amazing sex fades quickly when he sees the look on Phil’s face.

"Phil? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No! It’s not that. I’m fine. It’s just… I thought that maybe…"

Clint’s blood turns to ice in his veins and he sits up to look down at Phil. It’s been over a month since their near-argument about Phil’s memories and they’d gone slow with the physical side of their new relationship, until tonight when Phil had orchestrated tickets to the opera followed by a quiet dinner in Phil’s new apartment. Clint had thought they were finally past living with the ghost of what they’d once been, but it’s clear now that he was wrong.

"Did you… Did you sleep with me as an attempt to get your memories back?"

"No, no. Of course not, Clint. I love you." Clint starts to relax back against Phil’s side, but freezes when he continues to speak. "I was just reading that sometimes, an increased level of endorphins—"

"Oh my God. Are you even listening to yourself?" Clint pulls away and slides out of the bed, pulling on his clothes in angry movements. "We just had sex together — for the first time as far as you remember — and all you can think about is the endorphin rush triggering lost memories? I thought we were done with this."

"Clint, wait!"

Clint stops at the door and turns to Phil, who’s sitting up in the bed with the sheets pooled around his waist. Seeing the large scar on Phil’s chest is no less shocking than it was the first time and Clint fights the desire to run back into Phil’s arms.

"Why is it so important for you to remember?"

"Because it was a violation. They stole my memories and I can’t help but want them back."

"Is it more important for you to have your memories back or to have _me_ back?"

"That’s not a fair comparison, Clint," Phil argues.

"It is though. They didn’t just steal from you, Phil. I lost something too, but you pleaded with me to give us another chance and I was willing to do that. To do anything I could now that I had you back. You were always the most important factor in that. Not my memories of who we were. I loved you more than I thought possible, but I was willing to let that go for another chance to have _you._ I don’t think we want the same thing."

"Clint, I—"

He shakes his head before Phil can continue. "I think we need some space. Time apart to figure out what we really want. Stop forcing something to happen."

"I love you," Phil calls out as Clint turns to leave.

"That was never the problem."

~^~

Because fate loves kicking him when he’s down, Clint gets blown off a roof two days later. He stays in a medically induced coma for two days until the swelling in his brain goes down and he’s going to have months of physiotherapy for his shattered leg despite all the medical tech SHIELD has to offer.

"You," Phil says once Clint opens his eyes. Phil looks wretched, which tells Clint all he needs to know about how close he was to not making it through. "I know what I want and it’s you. They can keep my memories. Just don’t ever almost die to make your point again."

The doctors haven’t taken the breathing tube out yet, so Clint can’t do anything but look back up at Phil. He must communicate how he feels well enough through his eyes because Phil leans down and brushes a kiss across his forehead.

"I love you. Nothing else matters."

~^~

"Hiking up a mountain probably isn’t something my PT would have agreed to," Clint complains as they finally walk into their rented chalet.

"It was a small hill and they said walking is good for you."

They’re in the Swiss Alps — someplace neither of them have visited before — on a two week vacation because Clint had been driving the Avengers crazy with his bored antics at the Tower and Phil was driving his team bonkers with his constant need to check on Clint. 

Phil shuts the door after bringing their luggage inside and Clint immediately crowds him against the door for an enthusiastic kiss. It’s not their best attempt with the angle being off since Clint is leaning heavily on his cane and the brim of Phil’s hat getting a little in the way, but it still feels pretty damn perfect.

"Hey," Clint says softly as they break apart. "Thanks for taking me on vacation. Even if I know you’re going to be mean and still make do my exercises."

Phil smiles back and opens his mouth to speak, but then he flinches and closes his eyes as if he’d been blinded by a bright light. He gasps in pain and Clint lets go of his cane to grip Phil’s arms tightly, fearing a heart attack or a stroke.

"Phil! What is it? What’s wrong? Do you need a doctor? Let’s sit down and I’ll call SHIELD."

Phil finally opens his eyes, blinks a few times and then just stares at Clint. He looks like he’s going into shock.

"Phil?"

"I kissed you. We were hiking through the backwoods of Montana to an extraction point and you were complaining about having tree sap down you pants. You had a bad graze on your arm from a bullet that had been meant for me, but you were bitching about tree sap. Shoving you against the nearest tree and kissing you was the only thing I could think of to shut you up."

"You remember?"

Phil’s grin is wide and a little manic, but he looks ridiculously happy. "All of it. Our first kiss, the first time you told me you loved me, the first time we made love, the morning I asked you to marry me and you said yes."

Phil places both hands on Clint’s cheeks and uses them to pull him in for a lingering kiss. The move is so familiar that it makes Clint shudder and tighten his grip on Phil.

"How?" Clint manages to ask through the lump in his throat.

Phil pulls back and smiles. "I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. Nothing changes, except… will you still? Marry me?"

"My answer never changed, even if I was the only one who remembered. Yes, Phil. Yes, I’ll marry you."

~ _fin_ ~


End file.
